The Big Alligator River
(1979)
Director:
Sergio Martino
Starring: Barbara Bach, Claudio Cassinelli
Run Time: 89 mins
Certificate: Unrated
Plot Outline: A remote tourist resort in Africa finds
itself at the mercy of a huge man-eating crocodile, which is the incarnation
of a native god, angered by the intrusion of the tourists on it's nesting
ground. After a few natives are killed, they blame the tourists and launch
an attack on the resort. With blood-thirsty natives slaughtering them on the
land and a giant crocodile eating them in the river, what hope is there for
the survivors?
The Review: Good ol' Italian rip-offs. You can't
beat them can you? The late 70s and early 80s saw our pizza-loving
neighbours in Europe put their own spin on numerous American classics like
Dawn of the Dead, Jaws and Alien. Not just one or two,
though - a whole sub-genre has been formed of low-budget Italian rip-offs.
The worst thing is that you always expect a few rip-offs to come out after a
film has made it big but these tend to diminish within a year or two. But
the Italians go into overkill with them and keep making them for countless
years later. Here Spielberg's classic gets the treatment only this time it's a giant
crocodile (quite where they get the "alligator" in the title is unknown). Is
it any good? Like most of this genre, you're going to love it or hate it.
Jaws was the prototype for the monster-on-the-loose film and since
then, the formula has changed little. It's my favourite formula of all time
because in the 20+ years since Jaws was released, filmmakers haven't
messed around with it in the slightest. You know that there's some monster
lurking around a small town. You know that the authority figure is worried
about a loss of business and ignores the pleas to sort the problem out. You
know that there's one scene where the monster finally shows itself to the
public and all hell breaks loose. It's exactly the same here. And so on. The
businessman thinks the story about the crocodile is just nonsense from the
natives who want to scare the tourists away. We obviously know better
because there wouldn't be a film if there wasn't a crocodile. It's a bit
sketchy as to where the film is based. Early moments tend to signal
somewhere in South America but then later the tribes look more African and
when the credits roll, it was filmed in Sri Lanka! But that's a pretty mute
point in a film like this. Everyone who watches this will watch it for the
big beastie of the title munching on people in the river.
The crocodile looks terrible.
In the underwater scenes or shots of it swimming, it's clearly just a
blow-up pool toy. It's got absolutely no movement at all in it's head, tail,
neck or legs. It just glides in a straight line, sometimes looking like it's
been having a swift whiskey before it started shooting. A few of the bigger
head models used for rising out of the water and attacking people look a
little more convincing. The attacks are plentiful and there's a big body
count although you don't really get to see anything nasty, just a bit of
bloody water on occasion. The crocodile also has a habit of swimming up and
down the river quickly - in one moment it is menacing the tourists at the
resort and a few seconds later, it turns up down river to terrorise the two
leads. Maybe it is a god after all, capable of appearing in more than one
place simultaneously. Sensibly, Martino and his editors do a good job of
keeping it off-screen for as much as the story will allow but this does mean
that plenty of the film lags as characters constantly argue with each other
and dance to horrible music.
Speaking of the leads, again it's a pretty mute point to talk about them in
a film like this as the cast is dubbed. Barbara Bach does little except look pretty and Claudio Cassinelli becomes the generic
rugged-looking hero of the piece. Everyone involved looks
pretty bored. There are two exceptions though, one being the inclusion of
Bobby Rhodes. Rhodes will forever be remembered as the overly aggressive
pimp in the classic Demons film. And Enzo Fisichella plays an
extremely seedy gentleman who has no bones about copping off with a young
mother and making his intentions clear right in front of her daughter.
Final Verdict: It's one of the worst of the cheap
efforts from Italy that I think I've had the misfortune of watching. Maybe
you'll get some kicks out of it and there is a certain amount of charm to
the film. But I want a little more, well creativity, from my rip-offs. I
don't just want a bad rehash of the same elements. I want more monster
action. Sillier and more absurd moments to laugh at. More gore and more
nudity. It's not a lot to ask for, it's just that The Big Alligator River
doesn't deliver on any of them.
Rating:
