Carny
(2009)
Director:
Sheldon Wilson
Starring: Lou Diamond Phillips, Alan C. Peterson
Run Time: 88 mins
Plot Outline: A carnival operator buys a real live
Jersey Devil and labels it as his newest and proudest attraction. However on
opening night, the monster escapes from it's cage and flees into the woods
where it develops a taste for human flesh. The local sheriff and the
carnival's psychic attempt to track down the monster before it kills again
and before the angry townspeople and pastor burn down the carnival for
bringing the Devil into their midst.
The Review:
Another feeble creature
feature flick from the Sci-Fi Channel and their endless bible of
monsters to pillage, this time it's the Jersey Devil that gets the cheap
jack CGI treatment. So predictable, so tiresome and so devoid of ideas,
Carny is hard to review in all honesty. There's a small audience who
watch these films regardless of their quality (*cough* me) in the feeble
hope that they will improve over time and that there may actually be a
decent one. Blood Monkey, Shark Swarm, Grizzly Rage, Maneater, Bats:
Human Harvest, Sand Serpents, Eye
of the Beast, Croc, Yeti, Swamp Devil....the list is nearly endless. There must just be one script floating
around and the writers simply change the monster, the setting and a few
character names and bang out another film. Every once in a while, there's a
half-decent gem. But is it only half-decent because the rest of them suck so
badly? Unfortunately, Carny is not that gem. Never in a million years
will it be that gem.
Everything about Carny is
just so pedestrian and predictable. There's nothing new here. There's
nothing creative. It's just the same old, same old from the Sci-Fi Channel.
Monster is on loose in small town. There's an enforcement figure in the lead
role (police, wardens, etc.). There's his/her token love interest who is
usually either a scientist or local resident. There's a human villain who
wants the monster alive for personal/business/religious reasons. There's a
bunch of dim-witted locals (rednecks, hunters, fishermen, etc) who try and
kill the monster down unsuccessfully. Don't forget some obligatory teenagers
to throw a spanner in the works and need rescuing. Of course, most of the
film is spent in the woods looking for the monster with various characters
going off on their own and doing silly things. I never get why people only
go out in small groups to hunt monsters, given that they've already killed a
few people and proven how deadly they are. Safety in numbers, not pairs
should be the name of the game. Hunting monsters in the woods is so dull too
especially when pretty much every land-based creature feature flick does it
now. Most of the kills are
predictable enough and you can see the set-up a mile away. You hardly see the Jersey
Devil which is probably a good thing as it looks poorly rendered in the few
"action" scenes it has to carry off. The CGI is lousy and the
creature looks like it's got a funny pig-like nose. There is a small latex
model used for close-ups when it attacks and this looks infinitely better
than it's rubbery CGI brother.
Arguably the scariest part of
the film is when Phillips takes a tour of the carnival and meets some of the
freaks. Even then the film shows little creativity and it's got to be the
most pathetic looking carnival ever! No wonder everyone looks so depressed
with their lives if they're touring the country with that. Not content with
just having the Jersey Devil as the monster, the film also falls into the
same trap as so many recent creature features in having to have a human
villain throw a spanner in the works of the hero, this time the sinister
carnival manager who wants to protect his asset. He's more terrifying than
the beast itself but the role is too cartoony to turn him into a big threat.
He even has a right-hand man who wears an eye-patch. Not quite a Bond
villain but it was good for a chuckle. Lou Diamond Phillips is the
token named actor on board for this one and plays a sheriff role similar to the one he
had in Bats. He sleeps his way through his, presumably well aware
that he's getting paid at the end regardless of how he performs. To be fair,
he's reliable and a steady hand but the role could have been given to anyone
- he's here solely to put his name on the front cover.
Final Verdict: Carny would have made a
decent X-Files episode (in fact the Jersey Devil was featured in one episode
if my memory serves me correct) but as a feature film, it's just awful. The
only reason it gets 1 star is because of the ending which really goes
against the genre norm. I won't spoil it but Carny isn't worth
sitting through to find out either!
Rating: