Plot
Two teenagers who work for a furniture store at the local mall decide to sneak
their friends in after hours for a massive party. They don't plan ahead very
well because it just
happens to be the night a new security system is implemented in the mall with
the introduction of three robot security guards. A couple of bolts of
electricity short-circuit the computer system and the robots go crazy, killing
their human technicians and anyone else who is in the mall after hours.
Review
I'd be hard pressed to think of a better example of
an 80s horror film than Chopping Mall. With it's gory front cover, a
classic tag line of "Chopping Mall - where they slash their prices - and their
customers!" and featuring the requisite amount of dumb, appallingly acted
teenagers who drink, have sex and then are hacked to pieces, it's the ultimate
in cheese. It's got guilty pleasure slapped all over it with it's
none-too-serious tone and plenty of in-jokes and cameos. Think a weird cross
between Short Circuit and Friday the 13th and you'll be right at
home with Chopping Mall. It's a slasher in all but the presence of a
slasher and the malfunctioning robots more than make up for that.
Director Jim Wynorksi has made countless low budget horror flicks over his
career and this ranks up with his best work which, sadly enough, is not exactly
something to write home about. At a slender 76 minutes long, he makes the most
of the time he has to keep the film moving quickly and there are no dull spells
or drawn out scenes. He keeps things ticking away nicely from as soon as the
robots go crazy right until the end credits. This was made in the 80s after all
so, predictably, you'll be able to spot who is going to die and in what order.
The characters are those from the book of slasher lore: slutty females designed
to bare their breasts, nerds designed to explain everything, jocks are there to
act all Alpha Male and virginal females are there to survive. I'd be hard
pressed to name any of the actors involved in this and its safe to say that
they're simply filling the roles of stereotype to perfection. Like the majority
of these 80s flicks, I'd be amazed to find out that any of them forged
successful movie careers as they're all abysmal, not being able to emote when
one of their friends has been incinerated or fumbling around making out as if
they've never done it before. Thankfully there's a group of
eight teenagers in the mall plus various janitors and technicians so there's a
decent body count. The front cover does promise gore but there's little to be
hard here. Apart from an awesome head explosion which must have engulfed all of
the make-up effects budget, the deaths are not bloody. And sadly enough despite
the film being called Chopping Mall, no one gets chopped up.
The robots look like rejects from Short Circuit
with a bit of the old school Cylons from Battlestar Galactica and Robocop thrown in
for good measure. Come to think of it, you could imagine 'Johnny 5' going on a
killing spree if there was ever an X-rated version. Being low budget and this
being the 80s when futuristic objects looked ridiculously over-the-top, these
robots aren't able to do an awful lot. You won't see them moving up and down the
escalators. Their laser weapons look like they wouldn't hurt a fly and they
couldn't hit a barn door with them. Their sound effects have been swiped from
War of the Worlds and the visual effects for the laser beams look like a
cheap 80s computer game gone wrong. Not only that but they're called 'killbots'
for crying out loud! What did their creators think was going to happen? The
robots would make tea for everyone or doing the cleaning? Hell no - they're
going to turn into psychotic killing machines, patrolling the corridors of the
mall looking for the next kill. The setting is used to great effect as well and
takes a page out of the Dawn of the Dead book by getting some great
footage of the different locations in the mall that they shot the film inside.
Verdict
Chopping Mall ticks all the boxes as far as
80s horrors go. Hugely entertaining from start to finish and with a distinctive
story to set it apart from other teen fodder flicks, it never outstays it's
welcome. Don't take it seriously, sit back and enjoy one of the hidden gems of
80s low budget film making!
