Doom Asylum (1988)

Doom Asylum (1988)

SLASHING with a snicker, SLAUGHTER with a smirk…

A group of teenagers wind up on the grounds of a creepy abandoned asylum and think they have found the perfect place to have a party. However, they don’t realise that the asylum is home to a deformed maniac who was driven to madness by the death of his fiancé many years ago.

 

Made in the dying days of the slasher era during the late 80s, Doom Asylum is scraping the barrel just about as much as it can. Guerrilla filmmaking at it’s best (or worst) with a micro budget, extremely short shooting schedule, a dearth of skill in the audio and visual departments and scripts, make-up effects and actors looking like they were picked up in the local second-hand shop. Clearly with a sub-zero budget at their disposal, the makers of Doom Asylum tried their best but it’s hardly going to touch the likes of The Evil Dead or The Blair Witch Project in the budget versus quality stakes.

Doom Asylum is borderline parody, and I’m not quite sure whether that’s intentional or not. There are plenty of comedic and light-hearted moments, even during some of the more serious kill sequences – one victim telling the killer she is a Republican and voted for Reagan in attempt to save her life comes off as rather forced. It doesn’t help when the script is truly appalling and delivered by a group of actors so stilted and monotone in their dialogue that you’d think they had stage fright. Doom Asylum is probably most famous for being the film debut of Sex and the City star Kristin Davis, who is far too attractive to be playing a nerdish bookworm, and no doubt will deny this film’s existence on her resume. I would. I’m already trying to erase it from my mind as I write this review.

Doom Asylum is at least gory. The demented lawyer has a large group of teenagers to dispose of and does so in various ways, which is a good given how irritating the characters are. The gore looks extremely cheap at times, with obvious dummies and prosthetic limbs, but the killer keeps the kills racking up fairly frequently and you’ll be impressed at the make-up effects given how low the budget clearly was. I am sure this looked ‘amazing’ on grainy VHS back in the days of the video rental stores to give it an extra edge – the sort of front cover you’d notice as a kid when you were in the video shop but were never allowed to rent until your dodgy friend was able to source a copy. At least they managed to film inside a real abandoned asylum to give the narrative a bit of realism and scope. But there’s literally no tension or suspense whatsoever as the characters just walk around a lot through the hallways of the asylum. And I mean a lot.

The pizza-faced madman off the poster looks like a bargain basement Freddy Krueger and has his annoying habit of spouting off lame one-liners. For some unknown reason, the bulk of the film is set during the day and so this guy’s make-up is exposed in every single shot you get of him. He’s not menacing in the slightest, nor is he funny enough to make the jokes work. There are attempts at humour but none of the script writers have a funny bone to know what would work and what would fall flat – the large majority of it doesn’t even get off the ground. I guess the makers of this were rolling around in hysterics at the things they’ve written but no one else will find it funny.

There’s also a lot of black and white footage lifted from old Tod Slaughter horror films from the 1930s-50s which the killer sits back and watches in his abandoned asylum lair – it’s blatant padding to keep the run time resembling a real film and not some amateurish hour-long home movie.  Some of the footage is a lot more interesting than the actual film however and has made me curious about these vintage British horrors released around the time that Universal were hitting their Frankenstein-Dracula-The Wolfman peak.

 

With a plot you could squeeze onto a postage stamp, a set of actors who would struggle to recite a nursery rhyme and a total lack of anything resembling tension, fear or seriousness, Doom Asylum is an excruciatingly bad watch, even for ardent slasher fans.

 

 ★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ 

 

 

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