Plot
A group of friends play a game
in a cemetery but events spiral out of control and one of them is killed in
a tragic accident. After five years, the group decide to head back to the
scene of the crime to try and bring some closure to their lives. However
someone else gatecrashes the party and is determined to make them pay for
what they did years earlier.
Review
Another slasher film. Another revenge
plot for an accident that happened years earlier. Another guy in a mask
killing teenagers. Another group of horny, boozed up assholes and chicks in
a remote setting.
Another speech by the killer explaining his motives. Another pointless twist at the
finale to end on a high. The guys who made The Graveyard have clearly seen
way too many slasher films that they actually forgot to make their own film and just
borrowed every single cliché from the book. It's hard not to be too scathing
when reviewing low budget slasher films as there's simply not enough
material in the sub-genre to keep producing original work. A slasher made
tomorrow would have 90% of the same material as a slasher made in 1980. However I do like to
see people try and do something moderately different with the material, even if it just giving
the killer some better weapons, having some of the characters not be
ridiculously dumb or just coating everything with as much blood and guts as
possible. Unfortunately, The Graveyard doesn't do any of those
things.
Originally the third part of the Bloody Murder series, this has been
re-branded for some reason and given a new killer but still kept in the same
location - Camp Crystal Pines. It may have been a wiser move to keep the
film in with the series because this stand-alone effort isn't going to win
any plaudits soon and at least they could have played off the the history of
the camp a little more. However it does share similarities with the other
films - most importantly the fact that they suck. The cinematography is very poor,
bordering on amateur.
There are clearly big bright lights sitting behind every shack or tree in
this camp so
that pretty much everything is lit up during the night scenes. It'd be ok to
have some light filtering into the shots so that the killer stands out a bit
more in the chase scenes or to give him that "silhouette impact" when he
jumps out on people. But the problem is that it's way too bright and it's
obviously artificial thus ruining the illusion that this is moonlight. The
camp setting is grossly underused because the graveyard, the woods and the
boathouse take up a lot of the time. The distance between these locations is
never revealed but the characters seem to get from place to place in an
instant. And the fact that there is a graveyard next to a summer camp is
also a bit unnerving.
These characters are a dumb bunch of people too. They are
from the school of "let's go and investigate that strange noise" or "I've
just been attacked by the killer so I will run deeper into the woods instead
of back to camp where help may be." Apart from being absurdly dumb, they are
all so indistinguishable from each other. You don't remember any names
because the chicks are all sluts and the guys are all assholes. The only one
who stands out is the jock who constantly brag about how great he is in bed
but I couldn't even tell you his name. Actually I lied, there are two
characters who stand out and the other one is the slut who takes the longest
shower on record. The camera just continually lingers up and down her body.
It would be half-decent if it wasn't so damn creepy. The sheriff is also
dumb. He picks up one of the characters in the woods, covered in blood and
holding a knife. Yet he won't believe anything he says, locks him up and
then doesn't even bother going back out to check on what happened.
The killer is also able to
transport himself through place and time to appear at will like all good
maniacs do. He kills a guy early on in the film which alerts some of the
female characters but then later in the film, it is revealed by the sheriff
that the guy was killed before anyone arrived at the camp a couple of days
earlier. So what are we to
believe? That a) the killer can move through time to kill when he pleases or
b) that the director and writers are idiots who make many cock-ups with the
script. There's the obligatory twist
at the end when the killer is revealed and then gives us a ranting monologue
about why he did it. But given that there are only two survivors and one is
the final girl, it's not rocket science. The whole "why I did it" speech is
long-winded and ridiculous - something that would sit more at home in a
James Bond film than a slasher flick.
Verdict
Your tolerance for repetition will be put to the test
like no other if you decide to watch The Graveyard. It sucks big time
and I haven't even commented on the lesbians that appear from the woods
(don't get your hopes up), the
lousy gore effects, the high school acting or the fact that a laptop is how
everyone finds out who the killer is! It doesn't need to be seen to
believed, just take my word for it and avoid The Graveyard.
