Ghost Shark (2013)

Ghost Shark (2013)

When angry fishermen kill a great white shark for wrecking their catch, its spirit comes back for revenge and turns its sights on the nearby town of Smallport. However this ghost shark can now materialise and hunt wherever there is any form of water and begins a reign of inland terror.

 

I’m fed up of these daft creature feature films which can be summed up in their titles. 2-Headed Shark Attack, Sharknado, Sharktopus, Sand Sharks and Snow Shark (notice a pattern there?) are just a few of the increasingly inane killer monster movies which have somehow found their way from being strictly late night TV movie fillers to become social media phenomena. Sharknado in particular received a lot of social media coverage upon its premiere (and ultimate disappointment – but what were people really expecting?). Ghost Shark came along too soon after the pop culture frenzy of Sharknado for anyone to pay much attention to it. Whilst that is fair enough considering how terrible the end product is, it stands to reason that the idea of a vengeful ghost shark is equally as leftfield as that of a tornado filled with killer sharks and should have received a bit more coverage. But hey, the less people that are subjected to Ghost Shark, the better.

It’s too easy to tear Ghost Shark a new one because of how woeful it really is. It does have a novel idea at its core: that the ghost shark can appear in any body of water no matter how big or small. So swimming pools, baths and even buckets of water are no-go areas for anyone hoping to avoid being next on the menu. The film milks the idea for every penny and I have to give them credit for imaginatively thinking of new water sources for the shark to pop from. I guess once the concept has been established by the film then anything that happens, no matter how silly or contrived, can be justified by the ludicrous plot. It’s still hard to digest that a dying shark swims into a cursed cave and is somehow given life-after-death to then continue its killing frenzy from beyond the grave. Freddy Krueger I can believe, a great white shark I can’t.

The supernatural elements do add an element of fun and unpredictability to Ghost Shark. You’re never quite sure where the shark is going to appear next and in what small amount of water the shark will appear in, with some implausible but memorable moments involving water coolers, a bikini car wash and a slip ‘n’ slide. The shark is entirely CGI and comes off looking as unbelievable as it sounds in its see-through visage with an unholy blue glow and eerie noise whenever it appears. There are plenty of victims though and the shark isn’t too fussy about who or when it eats meaning that every few minutes another random pointless character will be killed off. The shark rarely finishes an entire person, often leaving behind severed limbs or, in many cases, the entire lower portion of the torso.

Apart from this variation on the usual killer shark origins, the film still runs like pretty much every other low budget CGI killer shark flick out there and this is the problem with not only Ghost Shark but the rest of the aforementioned shark movies. Once you strip aside the novel central idea, the rest of the film is business as usual. Writing is almost at an all-time low in Ghost Shark. Characters have no depth whatsoever. Exposition is kept to a minimum so we rarely get chance to connect with anyone or anything. Dialogue hurts the ears to listen to. You find yourself switching off from the film’s narrative and just blankly staring at the screen waiting for the next shark attack. There’s no connection with the images that you’re viewing. Just a few seconds of perverse satisfaction whenever the ghost shark appears.

Killer shark flicks are so over and done with now that it’s hard to see where anyone else can go with the idea – I said that after watching some of the earlier films but with shark-spewing tornados and now resurrected spirits, there’s literally no way for them to go. Progressively getting more outlandish, I can only predict that outer space is the final venue for such low grade twaddle.

 

Ghost Shark is a film which is sold entirely on its premise and for that, the genius behind the title should be commended. Some will view it as a hilarious guilty pleasure but bereft of logic, constant entertainment and genuine quality, it’s not something that I would ever consider giving a moment of time my time. Ghost Shark? Someone call the Ghostbusters for a bit of professional paranormal elimination, pronto!

 

 ★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ 

 

 

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