Halloween Camp 2: Scream If You Wanna Die Faster (2004)

Halloween Camp 2: Scream If You Wanna Die Faster (2004)

A group of high school graduates are ready for a weekend of partying at a remote camping ground, where one of the group had, years earlier, played a deadly prank on a family which resulted in their deaths. Or at least that’s what he thought at the time. When his friends start to go missing, it turns out that someone survived.

 

Right stick with me here because this isn’t the first time that the stupid UK has played havoc with the titling of films. This is Halloween Camp 2: Scream If You Wanna Die Faster – at least here in the UK. Everywhere else, it is known as Adam and Evil. Halloween Camp 2: Scream If You Wanna Die Faster is of no relation whatsoever to Halloween Camp. Halloween Camp was another example of silly re-titling as it was known as Bloody Murder 2: Closing Camp in the US. And of course that had no connection to the original Bloody Murder. Unofficial sequels to sequels of films which were not that good to begin with…Do you know what the problem is? Too many summer camp slashers and too little talent to divide up amongst themselves.

Friday the 13th, Sleepaway Camp and The Burning have the monopoly on decent summer camp slashers and the rest are left fighting over scraps. Halloween Camp 2 (I’m going to shorten the title or else I’ll spend half the review just repeating it) comes along in the wake of the post-Scream slasher revival where, just like the 80s, every low budget wannabe director with a camera and some friends believes that they have what it takes to add to the burgeoning sub-genre. Halloween Camp 2 at least has better production values over its 80s equivalents but the pure lack of originality is still the same as it was twenty years ago.

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt – everything about Halloween Camp 2 is bland and tedious. There’s routine slashers and there’s this. The ‘past-traumatic experience come back to haunt people’ slasher plot cliché is the chosen narrative here and it signposts the way for a whole host of old chestnuts to appear. Creepy caretakers. Sinister-looking gas stations in the middle of nowhere. Sex-crazed teenagers flitting off into the woods to have sex. Noises being investigated. You can argue that every slasher, even the great ones, have these clichés but they actually do something with them. If a character goes off to investigate a noise, we know what is going to happen to them but at least make something of it. Put in a bit of atmosphere. String the suspense out a bit. Maybe throw in some scares. Just do something! Halloween Camp 2 recycles the clichés but doesn’t include any glue to hold it all together.

Halloween Camp 2 is yet another modern slasher that fails to deliver the key ingredients which made the sub-genre so popular in the first place. With the story going through the usual motions and the cast stinking the place to high heaven, what better way to prove a point than by featuring some epic kills, gratuitous nudity and lashings of gore? This killer is so predictable with his method of dispatch – someone show him a compilation of Jason’s greatest kills and show him how it’s done right. Spears and arrows are rather lacklustre when you consider what other options the killer could have used and the end results are rather poorly-executed. And whilst we’re at it, why not just shower everyone with blood and guts? The slashers that are most fondly remembered from the golden era all pull out the stops when it comes to delivering the kills. This is as a dry as a bone.

Given some of the seriously hot babes on display here, a little T&A wouldn’t have gone amiss to liven things up. It’s also puzzling to see such a bevy of beautiful ladies tagging along with a group of such average-looking dudes. Like seriously, these women are way out of their league. The laziness of the production is wrapped up neatly with the cover artwork for the Halloween Camp 2 release. All they’ve done is grab an image of the killer’s mask from the first Halloween Camp and tacked it above a Scream-like montage of the main characters along the bottom. What’s funny is that the killer here does not wear that mask at all, it’s something totally different. Stay tuned for the final twist ending revelation when the killer unmasks themselves to the total shock and surprise of precisely no one in the audience. Despite the film throwing around red herrings, the clue to who the killer is lies in the title. Sorry if that’s a spoiler but I thought I’d save you the pain of watching it.

 

Halloween Camp 2 asks a few important questions of its audience such as “who the hell thought investing money into this picture would be a good idea?” and “do you really think the world needs another low budget summer camp slasher?” It’s a moronic slasher which doesn’t even tick all of the required boxes and half-asses the rest of them in the process. Don’t bother watching no matter what title it is hiding under.

 

 ★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ 

 

 

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