The Hills Have Eyes II
(2007)
Director:
Martin Weisz
Starring: Michael McMillan, Jessica Stroup
Run Time: 90 mins
Certificate: 18
Plot Outline: A squad of National Guard are sent into
the New Mexico desert on a supply mission to a team that is installing a new
system into an abandoned facility. When they get there, they find no sign of the
team until a distress call is received from the hills. Making their way up the
hills, the soldiers are attacked by a group of mutants and equipment is damaged
and stolen. With no way of getting back down the hill, the remaining soldiers
must find their way through an old mine to get back to base.
The Review: The 2006 remake of The Hills Have Eyes
certainly surprised me as being a brutal, gory and relentless ride which, in
many ways, bettered the original. And just like the revamped Texas Chainsaw
Massacre remake in 2003 saw a sequel, that too has spawned a sequel for
whatever cash-related reason. Out went Alexandre Aja, the man responsible for
the disturbing and savage nature of the original. And out with him went that brutal and
unforgiving edge - you got the sense that anything went in his film, no matter
how sick or depraved it was going to be. In it's place comes a totally
out-of-place comic tone, more mutants you can shake a stick at, more characters
to get killed and more gore. Say goodbye to everything that made the remake such
a great ride.
The problems are evident from the
start and that lies with the characters. For starters I don't want to see a
bunch of soldiers being chewed up, decapitated and hacked to pieces because
surely they should be trained enough to deal with this sort of thing better than
anyone (I know you don't get mutant-fighting training anywhere but at least
they practice combat regularly as opposed to say, me who has never done anything
like that). I like seeing ordinary people put into extraordinary situations and
seeing how they cope with it. So by throwing the best prepared humans into that
situation and watch them suffer doesn't really hit the same nerve. Secondly, if you're going to give me soldiers,
then at least make an effort to humanise them and characterise them a little.
Names are for tombstones in films like this and it's funny how you won't
remember 90% of the names by the middle of the film, let alone the end. Instead
just sit back and call them their token names: hotshot, black guy, coward, hot
chick, etc. It borders spoof at times with the silliness of the characters. Do
you remember a little film called Aliens back in the 80s? That involved a
bunch of bad ass soldiers taking on those acid-spitting aliens. But James
Cameron never once let the characters descend into caricatures. He humanised
them, gave each one personality traits and made the audience care about them.
Here they're just going through the motions of the generic "macho bullshit" that
soldiers are portrayed as having in the movies. They also do some of the most
ludicrous things I've seen in a horror film and as such, plot developments can
be seen way ahead of time. Thinking of climbing down a mountain using a rope?
Good idea but stand around dithering for ages and you're going to be in for it!
I can't really comment on the actors involved because some of them may suck,
some of them may have talent - it's just impossible to see throw the awful
script. And when you consider who wrote this - WES CRAVEN no less, it's a
complete travesty.
Now that I've ranted over the script and characters,
where else to begin? Well the fact that the film descends into a pointless
sequence of chases around the dark, abandoned mine is a start. The Descent
showed how you could breathe a little life back into something as over-used
as this with it's sense of claustrophobia and constantly lurking dangers. No
such atmosphere or skill here, just annoying characters stumbling around the
dark looking for an exit or looking to be killed. How about the silly comic tone
that the film has? In one moment, a mutant pulls an arm of one of the guys and
waves it back at him. Mildly amusing when you see it but totally out of place
here. The gore stakes have been ramped up but without the savage tone, without
the brutality and without the violence of the original, it's all wasted.
Final Verdict: The Hills Have Eyes II is a
pointless, stupid exercise in gore. It's a total rush job and it smacks of
pandering to the modern horror fans who only watch these films to be shocked
with blood and gore. Does anyone know how to create a story anymore? Even former
icons like Wes Craven seem to have lost their way.
Rating: