King Cobra (1999)

King Cobra (1999)

30 Feet Of Pure Terror!

A giant experimental King Cobra snake escapes a research lab and takes up residence in a small brewery town which is about to host its annual beer festival.

 

Who needs a lot of plot description when one line summaries will do? Very obviously a low budget Anaconda rip-off/cash-in, King Cobra is a typical example of late 90s and early 00s straight-to-DVD monster movies. Little creativity, little imagination, little scope and little reward for watching, the films are all interchangeable with one another, especially if you’ve seen upwards of twenty killer snake films in the same period of time like I have.

The star of the show is the snake and surprisingly, this isn’t some slithering CGI scare machine, it’s an animatronic model. Designed by the Chiodo Brothers (who did the remarkable make-up effects on the cult classic Killer Klowns From Outer Space), the snake doesn’t get an awful lot of screen time which is a shame because whenever it is on camera, the size and scale of it looks amazing. Having something physical on-set for the cast to visualise and interact with is always preferable to CGI post-production effects. The snake does have a limited range of motion but the copious use of POV shots try to mask that fact. Unfortunately, this also means that you won’t get to see much during the kill scenes. These tend to be brief affairs with the faintest hint of violence and blood. I guess these had to be sacrificed because the budget clearly went into the snake but the snake rarely looks like it attacks anyone as a lot happens off-screen.

Despite the decent special effects, King Cobra‘s major weakness is its script. It follows the routine Jaws formula with a monster finding its way into a small town celebrating some form of anniversary or festival and where the mayor wants to keep everything monster-related hush-hush as to avoid the event being cancelled or the town losing business. The first half sees the monster causing carnage around the town and the second half sees an intrepid group of people attempt to capture it. There’s nothing remotely original about it and you could quite easily replace the snake with various different monsters, serial killers or aliens and the end result would still be the same. There’s no style or substance to proceedings, just a monotonous going through the motions vibe. No one here was out to make a good film. They’re just in it to pay the bills until the next film comes along and it shows.

King Cobra is painfully slow and very dull. This is probably because there are plenty of scenes which lead nowhere and a couple of plot threads that have no bearing on anything that happens. There’s no sense of fun or excitement at all, and the scenes without the snake really drag the pace of the film down. Also not helping matters in the unserious tone. Either go full out spoof or play it straight but King Cobra bizarrely trends some middle ground, where it is too daft to be serious but not witty or goofy enough to laugh with (or at).

Pat Morita, forever known around the world as Mr Miyagi (from the original The Karate Kid), gets the top billing and plays up to stereotypical as a wise old snake hunter who gets to spout lots of facts and statistics and make it sound scientific. He looks a bit embarrassed to be starring in this but the royalties from his big hit won’t cover the bills forever! Scott Hillenbrand is the other ‘star’ and he’s also one of the co-directors which is a tad convenient if you ask me. Hillenbrand is just as wooden in front of the camera as he is clueless behind it. Erik Estrada has a cameo appearance as a flamboyant gay man so it’s not like the actors really had to push themselves into their roles.

 

King Cobra just doesn’t do anything fresh or remotely exciting, save for the decent snake special effects. The film has all been done before and done better too. It’s just too unoriginal to be interesting anymore, even down to the blatant “hey we want a sequel” ending (which thankfully never came to fruition).

 

 ★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ 

 

 

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