Lake Placid 3 (2010)

Lake Placid 3 (2010)

Don’t forget you’re lunch!

A game warden moves his family into a house by the lake which was once the scene of some horrific crocodile attacks. The locals assure him that the crocs are gone but it isn’t long before the warden’s little boy finds a few baby crocs and begins feeding them. They quickly grow into full-sized crocodiles and when the meat that the little boy has been giving them isn’t enough, they soon move on to attacking people.

 

What’s more exciting than a low-rent sequel with one killer crocodile like Lake Placid 2? The answer is another low-rent sequel with many killer crocodiles in Lake Placid 3. Following on from creature feature sequel lore than dictates if one monster isn’t enough, then feature multiple monsters, Lake Placid 3 suffers from the same fate that befalls pretty much every Sci-Fi Channel original in that low rent CGI creatures, computerised gore, Eastern European locations and cardboard cut-out characters do not instantly equal success. Despite this, it’s marginally better than its predecessor although that was dire to the extreme.

Like many of these straight-to-TV sequels, they’re pretty much that in name only. It wouldn’t surprise me to find out if they filmed this as something totally unrelated and slapped the Lake Placid tag onto it to try and appeal to those who liked the original. Well guess what, the only people who watch these sequels are people like me and I couldn’t care whether it’s a Lake Placid film or some standalone crocodile flick – a bad film is a bad film whatever the title.

Let’s start with the script. If there’s a crocodile on the loose, do you a) stay as near to the water as possible or b) get as far away from it’s habitat as soon as possible? The idiotic script keeps having the characters hang around by the water or even run towards it when they’re in danger. If you’re lining up to be a hot lunch, then fair enough go there. Anyone with a shred of intelligence would run the opposite way. The film is loaded with croc attacks so you won’t have to go too long without one but the eventual kills are terrible. Gory, yes, but only if you like your kills and blood to be unrealistic with cheap CGI.

Again, script consistencies go out of the window so one moment a croc is powerful enough to bite a man’s head off but the next minute it bites our lead actor in the arm and he gets a mere flesh wound. The crocs themselves look really bad most of the time. What would have stopped them from making a large crocodile head that they could used in close-ups or for attack scenes? Lake Placid 3 also features daft lapses in physics as these huge crocodiles can squeeze through narrow doors without so much as a crack or scrape or pull people effortlessly out of car windows with one bite. Then the next minute they’re smashing up boats and dragging cars into lakes for fun. Not to mention their constant refusals to eat main characters when faced with an easy dinner. Films like this need to have one set of rules and abide by them, not make everything up scene-by-scene. The traditional Eastern European locations are back again and it’s funny that a film about crocodiles spends a lot of it’s time having characters traipse around the same wooded locations that almost every Sci-Fi Channel original film has.

Colin Ferguson has seemingly been cast as some likeable ‘everyman’ we can associate with but he’s dull as dishwater. Like a black hole of charisma, Ferguson is hardly terrible but he lacks any sort of screen presence whatsoever. Michael Ironside simply cashes in a cheque as the sheriff and can do these roles in his sleep. It’s up to the females to provide the spunk here with Yancy Butler stealing the show as the one-liner spitting hunter. She chomps through the film better than the crocodiles and provides us with a feisty character that is meant to be an asshole but you can’t help but get behind her. It’s a pity her role is only supporting as she’s the best bit of the film. There’s a bit of skin too but the hottest chick in the film, Kacey Barnfield, had the better agent and kept her top on although what a glorious white tank top it is! Blood and boobs are the necessities for low budget drivel like this and when that even fails to get a look-in it’s time to switch off.

Unfortunately the sadist in me wanted to see that annoying little kid suffer an ironic fate by being eaten by the crocs he feeds but Lake Placid 3 is not the film to take risks. And with an open-ending that promises further sequels, the risk will clearly be minimal in Lake Placid 4.

 

Lake Placid 3 is at least better than the previous film but that’s saying little. It’s just your standard run-of-the-mill creature feature flick, no more, no less. There’s no ambition shown here. No taking chances with the material. You’ll have seen this film before and you’ll see it many, many times more if the Sci-Fi Channel has its way.

 

 ★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ 

 

 

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