Shark Attack 3: Megalodon (2002)

Shark Attack 3: Megalodon (2002)

The terror has surfaced.

When two researchers discover a colossal shark’s tooth off the coast of a Mexican holiday resort, their worst fears surface: the most menacing beast to ever rule the waters – The Megalodon shark – is still alive and mercilessly feeding on anything that crosses its path.

 

After trying to play everything so serious in the first two Shark Attack films, I guess a light was switched on inside someone’s head. Why not go out and have some fun with the notion of killer sharks? After all, no matter how many low budget killer shark films have been made since Jaws, not one has come anywhere close to matching Spielberg’s classic let alone beating it. They’ve all gone down the serious route and trying to beat Bruce at his own game is impossible. Shark Attack 3: Megalodon isn’t meant to be a total comedy spoof, nor do I really think it is meant to be viewed as such. But one can’t help but smile and laugh at some of the things that happen throughout the course of the film. Purposeful or not, this is a terrible film which doesn’t even try to be funny yet it is for all of the wrong reasons. It’s the film that the later Sharknado desperately wanted to be and tried too hard to top.

Shark Attack 3: Megalodon takes the idea of a killer shark and runs with it for a change, first increasing the size of its shark problem to gigantic proportions. This isn’t just your run-of-the-mill Great White terror – this is a bad ass prehistoric shark which can swallow dinghies whole. Well at least for the final third of the film. The first two thirds feature just your average-sized killer sharks swimming around. It’s kind of a misleading title at this point. You’ll get your run-of-the-mill shark story in the lead up to the gigantic shark being unveiled. Nu Image have clearly seen Jaws, with the generic ‘authority figure who won’t close the beaches’ spiel thrown in there for good measure. Once all of the standard Jaws tropes have been wheeled out, Shark Attack 3: Megalodon then starts to come into its own.

Just when I thought the series was heading in the right direction with some half-decent CGI sharks in the finale of Shark Attack II (ok, so it’s not Jurassic Park quality stuff here folks), the rug was pulled from under me. The novelty of the thought of this huge shark causing havoc is quick to wear away when the film starts up and you realise that they’ve ditched the CGI and rely purely on stock footage. The sharks are simply culled from footage of normal great white sharks which have then been blown up to enormous proportions where the victims appear to ‘fall’ into the open mouth. It would be a clever piece of trickery – if it didn’t look so awful. The sharks are well fed so at least there’s that.

It doesn’t help that the footage is really grainy and faded so it sticks out like a sore thumb. The shark changes from shot to shot because they obviously couldn’t find two shots of the same shark doing what they wanted it to do. In most cases, the exact same shot of the shark breaking the surface and opening its mouth is used. The ‘fin cam’ is back and looks more ridiculous than ever, looking like it’s going to topple over from the weight of the camera on a number of shots.

Physics laws are also broken as, in one scene, the shark breaks through the bottom of a boat and starts attacking people in the cabin but the boat doesn’t sink for absolutely ages. Come on guys, the Orca in Jaws sank in about four minutes after Bruce had rammed himself across the sternum and then through the window. I suppose in a film dealing with an extinct 60ft prehistoric shark, I shouldn’t be looking to pick faults with the science.

John Barrowman stars before he became more famous with Doctor Who and Torchwood and I’m guessing he left this off his CV when applying for the role. Here, he just looks like a Baywatch reject who wandered on to the wrong set at the wrong time but at least he utters one of trashy cinema’s most infamous chat-up lines. Barrowman has said that the line was an ad-lib meant to get a rise out of Jenny McShane and wasn’t the scripted dialogue but it was kept in for how absurd it is. His co-star, Jenny McShane, is back with a totally unrelated character to the one she played in the original Shark Attack. She also has a new agent who is obviously less demanding of contracts because she gets naked in this one. However she still looks as bored and wishing she had a better career.

 

Shark Attack 3: Megalodon has become one of the most notorious of the killer shark films due to how awful it really is. But through being awful it comes full circle, adding extra layers of cheese and humour to proceedings to create the most camp killer shark flick of all time. It’s a terrible film but essential viewing. You won’t believe that anyone could make something like this.

 

 ★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆ 

 

 

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