Tag Mythical Monsters

Hydra (2009)

Hydra (2009)

Prepare to be consumed.

Four millionaires pay a shady businessman to arrange them the ultimate hunt – live human prey. So four criminals are kidnapped, shipped out to a remote tropical island and given a 24-hour head start before the hunters set off in pursuit. What none of them reckon with is the multi-headed mythical monster, the Hydra, which lives on the island.

 

Jeez, that plot seems to be stretching it just a bit. It sounded believable enough until the completely random inclusion of the Hydra on the island. I mean come on Sci-Fi Channel, could you not just have had some giant lizard or dinosaur living there instead of a mythical monster? Or if you’re going to use something as mythical as the Hydra, then surely you can come up with something a little more relevant for it to be featured in. Anyhow, with this being the Sci-Fi Channel and this being one of it’s ‘creature features’ that it has been spewing out rapidly over the last few years, the Hydra is going to be as important as a pair of snow shoes in the Sahara desert by the time the credits roll.

As with the majority of the Sci-Fi Channel’s output, Hydra is mostly throwaway junk. The story is just awful as I’ve already commented on. It’s had potential on paper with the ‘hunting humans as prey’ story but absolutely nothing is made of it once it has been introduced. The actual hunt wasn’t even worth starting as the characters run around for a bit before the Hydra finishes everyone off pretty quickly. The characters are all terrible. The group of ‘convicts’ look like they have come straight out of college and it will need all of your imagination to buy them as cons. It would have been easier to have them as kidnapped freshmen instead of apparent cons. At least it would explain the goofy black guy and the unnecessary romance between the single male and the single female characters.

The hunters fare no better as each has a few lines of dialogue before they head off to the island. Just to distinguish them all, they dress in different ‘stereotypical hunter attire’ meaning one guy wears an English-style tweed jacket and flat cap, another wears camouflage, the redneck wears the cowboy hat and I can’t remember what the other guy was wearing but it was ‘hunter-esque.’ Even the characters on the ship are all one-dimensional goofs. The captain just chomps cigars all of the time but at least looks like he’s having fun with his role. His crew are all just random muscle men who are simply sent to the island to provide more fodder for the Hydra. At least Jana Williams provides some much needed glamour and sex appeal as the businessman’s wife. But alas this is Sci-Fi Channel material so the closest she gets to being naked is a quick bikini shot.

Let’s get to the actual Hydra shall we? Terrible is all that I can really say. CGI effects just don’t cut it when they are this shoddy. The monster grows two heads when it loses one but this only happens when people actually fight back. Most of the time, its victims just fall over unconvincingly and let it eat them. It gets very well fed during the film but that’s about all you see of it. It has the ability to sneak up on people almost without a sound too and doesn’t leave any tracks on the sand when it slithers across to devour a couple of boneheads shooting pistols at it. If you see a giant monster which clearly wants to eat you and you are armed with a small pistol, what would you do? Run away as fast as you can and use the pistol as a last resort or just stand there and fire aimlessly in the hope that your small bullet will hit a vital organ? I’m not a fast person but I’d be out there like a flash!

The monster just rips CGI people apart and there’s plenty of CGI gore but it all amounts to very little as it happens so often. I want to see slow deaths – getting eaten alive in these films is an instant death in most cases and the monsters chew people up too easily for my liking. On the positive side, this is one of the few Sci-Fi Channel films that I’ve seen that doesn’t fill up the cast with Eastern European hacks. Everyone speaks English perfectly which is a nice change!

 

Hydra actually had potential in my opinion but that was all frittered away within the opening few minutes! The mythological monster is one of the best out there and when treat right (see Jason and the Argonauts), it can actually look awesome. But the Hydra totally deserves better than this drivel. Slightly better than your usual Sci-Fi Channel guff but that’s not exactly a badge of honour.

 

 ★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ 

 

 

Cerberus (2005)

Cerberus (2005)

Three Times the Terror

The priceless breastplate of Attila the Hun is stolen by a criminal gang in a raid on a museum in Bucharest and the curator is killed. According to legend, the breastplate reveals the location of the Sword of Mars which made Attila invincible and would do the same to any such man who would wield it. Unfortunately for them, the gang needed the curator to decipher the breastplate. So they head to New York to go to their next best solution – his former assistant, Dr Samantha Gaines. Her partner is kidnapped by the gang and she is forced to travel to Romania to help the gang. Little do they all realise that guarding the Sword of Mars is Cerberus, a monstrous three-headed dog!

 

Another monster flick from the Sci-Fi Channel and another complete waste of time, effort and a decent mythical beast in Cerberus. Just like their other cookie-cutter genre efforts, you can plan out exactly where this is heading from the get go. Let’s check off the list: Mainly Eastern European cast because the film was shot somewhere in Eastern Europe on the cheap – check. One or two recognisable American actors (here it is the lovely Emmanuelle Vaugier) – check. Silly and unnecessary human villains (because a monster isn’t enough to keep interest in the Sci-Fi Channel’s monster movies anymore it seems) – check. Plenty of human fodder from both the good guys and the bad guys (mainly bad guys though) – check. CGI monster that only appears a few times – check. Extremely misleading plot synopsis and DVD cover – CHECK! Yawn.

As with all of these dreary Sci-Fi Channel films, the monster becomes second nature for some unknown reason. Surely if you’re marketing something then you have to deliver? Can’t we start taking studios to court if they fail to deliver what they promise? False advertising? The film sidelines us with a really weak plot about some North Korean criminal gang wanting the sword so that they can launch nuclear missiles against the US. Plenty of tough-looking guys walk around in suits and shades brandishing firearms. Enough of the Reservoir Dogs posing, can we get the damned dog killing people? Is it too much to ask?

These plots are just shallow ploys to do anything in the film other than show us the monster which obviously costs money to appear, hence the cameo role. It is clearly in the contracts of the Sci-Fi Channel writers that they must include human villains in these films. So roll out the clichés: mad scientists, mercenaries, bent cops, greedy entrepreneurs and so on. It’s the turn of the mercenary here. Plenty of double-crossing with bad guys screwing over bad guys, bad guys screwing over good guys and local villagers getting screwed by everyone when a massive dog follows the good and bad guys into the village!

I hate dogs in real life. In fact I’m not really an animal person period. But there’s something about dogs I’ve never liked. However this overgrown puppy with three heads isn’t going to give me nightmares anytime soon. It looks terrible so there’s no wonder it was kept off screen as long as it was. But it’s not only the CGI that is terrible, it’s the interactions of the human cast. Usually there’s a reasonable degree of interaction with the cast and the actors usually do a decent, if not perfect, job of making you think there’s something there on screen even though you know there isn’t. However the actors in this film don’t even make the effort to do that. Given that the dog isn’t on screen a lot, you would have thought they’d at least try to go all out for its brief moment of glory. Hell, the mercenary kills more people than the dog in this film. So don’t expect loads of gory moments of people getting torn apart by three frenzied dog heads!

 

I keep watching these Sci-Fi Channel films in the hope that one of them will break the mould and actually deliver the goods instead of the same old retread. Cerberus blows big time and that’s all I’ve got to say on it. On the plus side it seems they’re running out of monsters to use. I’ve lost track of the amount of killer snake, killer shark, killer crocodile and killer bat films that have been made recently. What’s on the list next? Killer dodos? Killer hamsters? Now that would be an idea – just as long as there are no mad scientists hogging the limelight!

 

 ★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ 

 

 

Wyvern (2009)

Wyvern (2009)

Ancient evil has come to feed.

The residents of a small Alaskan town find themselves besieged by a wyvern, a medieval flying dragon that has thawed from its ancient ice tomb thanks to global warming and has taken up residence in their local woods.

 

The Sci-Fi Channel continues to raid mythology in a desperate bid to keep new monsters coming out of the woodwork with Wyvern, another by-the-numbers creature feature which runs like clockwork. I don’t even get why they need to keep using mythological monsters for as all of these films are exactly the same, save for a different ‘origin of the beast’ speech made by one of the characters. I guess it adds an extra couple of minutes to this film when the origins of the wyvern from Nordic mythology are explained to the other characters – who really cares though? It’s big, it’s bad, it’s hungry and the only thing the characters really need to know is how to kill it.

Anyway enough with the mini-rant, Wyvern isn’t actually that bad and coming from the Sci-Fi Channel, that’s saying something. I guess it was the different monster that spiced things up a bit because the rest of the film is just one terrible cliché after another.

What clichés does Wyvern roll out you may ask? Well there’s the token single male hero character that has some history and is looking to put that behind him. So no doubt by the end of the film he’ll be given an opportunity to redeem himself and get rid of the guilt he’s carrying. There’s the token single female character that is the only attractive woman in the town, is still single and has the attention of two guys fighting for her affection. So no doubt she’ll end up with whoever doesn’t get eaten by the end. There’s your crazy old guy who ‘shoot things and drinks a lot of beer’ so it’s obvious that he’ll be the first to see the wyvern and no one will believe him. This is a town where there is a festival coming up which, according to one character ‘is the only thing this town has got to look forward to’ – so clearly the authority figure in charge isn’t going to close this down (Jaws, you have a lot to answer for at times).

The cast is what you’d expect from such a Sci-Fi Channel flick – you’ve got some lesser known actors taking up the main roles with an odd recognisable face thrown in for good measure. Here the faces are Barry Corbin (no stranger to the genre with appearances in Dead & Buried and Critters 2: The Main Course) and Don S. Davis (who appeared in around 160 episodes of Stargate SG-1). The cast is dependable enough, with no one really standing out from the pack but no one making a total fool of themselves either.

The main star is the monster itself. The CGI wyvern looks pretty slick when it’s flying around in the air but as soon as it’s got landscapes or buildings back dropped behind it, the effects look decidedly less so. One of the problems of this new era of creature features is that they show the monster too early so there’s little excitement to be had waiting for a big reveal later in the film. In fact the wyvern here is shown in the first scene so you know exactly what the characters are up against. Part of the fun of the old school monster flicks was that you only got glimpses or the monsters until midway through the films when they’d be revealed in all of their glory. At least the wyvern gets well fed and although there aren’t too many gory moments of the creature eating people, there are plenty of leftovers on the floor including severed limbs and heads. And in a morbid touch, although you don’t actually see much in the way of eating, you can hear the noises of crunching bone as the wyvern flies off with its victims.

 

Wyvern is the best of the Sci-Fi Channel’s recent efforts and whilst that’s not saying a lot, it’s enough in this day-and-age of dreadful straight-to-DVD monster flicks. I just dread to think of how many more monsters will be dragged up from the depths of mythology to keep these creature feature films rolling.

 

 ★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆ 

 

 

Carny (2009)

Carny (2009)

The carnival is anything but fun.

A carnival operator buys a real live Jersey Devil and labels it as his newest and proudest attraction. However on opening night, the monster escapes from its cage and flees into the woods where it develops a taste for human flesh. The local sheriff and the carnival’s psychic attempt to track down the monster before it kills again and before the angry townspeople and pastor burn down the carnival for bringing the Devil into their midst.

 

Another feeble creature feature flick from the Sci-Fi Channel and their endless bible of monsters to pillage, this time it’s the Jersey Devil that gets the cheap jack CGI treatment. So predictable, so tiresome and so devoid of ideas, Carny is hard to review in all honesty. There’s a small audience who watch these films regardless of their quality (*cough* me) in the feeble hope that they will improve over time and that there may actually be a decent one. Blood Monkey, Shark Swarm, Grizzly Rage, Maneater, Bats: Human Harvest, Sand Serpents, Eye of the Beast, Croc, Yeti, Swamp Devil….the list is nearly endless. There must just be one script floating around and the writers simply change the monster, the setting and a few character names and bang out another film. Every once in a while, a half-decent gem will be unearthed. But is it only half-decent because the rest of them suck so badly? Unfortunately, Carny is not that gem. Never in a million years will it be that gem.

Everything about Carny is just so pedestrian and predictable. There’s nothing new here. There’s nothing creative. It’s just the same old, same old from the Sci-Fi Channel. Monster is on loose in small town. There’s an enforcement figure in the lead role (police, wardens, etc.). There’s his/her token love interest who is usually either a scientist or local resident. There’s a human villain who wants the monster alive for personal/business/religious reasons. There’s a bunch of dim-witted locals (rednecks, hunters, fishermen, etc) who try and kill the monster down unsuccessfully. Don’t forget some obligatory teenagers to throw a spanner in the works and need rescuing. Of course, most of the film is spent in the woods looking for the monster with various characters going off on their own and doing silly things. I never get why people only go out in small groups to hunt monsters, given that they’ve already killed a few people and proven how deadly they are. Safety in numbers, not pairs should be the name of the game.

Hunting monsters in the woods is so dull too especially when pretty much every land-based creature feature flick does it now. Most of the kills are predictable enough and you can see the set-up a mile away. You hardly see the Jersey Devil which is probably a good thing as it looks poorly rendered in the few ‘action’ scenes it has to carry off. The CGI is lousy and the creature looks like it’s got a funny pig-like nose. There is a small latex model used for close-ups when it attacks and this looks infinitely better than its rubbery CGI brother.

Arguably the scariest part of the film is when Phillips takes a tour of the carnival and meets some of the freaks. Even then the film shows little creativity and it’s got to be the most pathetic looking carnival ever! No wonder everyone looks so depressed with their lives if they’re touring the country with that. Not content with just having the Jersey Devil as the monster, the film also falls into the same trap as so many recent creature features in having to have a human villain throw a spanner in the works of the hero, this time the sinister carnival manager who wants to protect his asset. He’s more terrifying than the beast itself but the role is too cartoony to turn him into a big threat. He even has a right-hand man who wears an eye-patch. Not quite a Bond villain but it was good for a chuckle.

Lou Diamond Phillips is the token named actor on board for this one and plays a sheriff role similar to the one he had in Bats. He sleeps his way through his, presumably well aware that he’s getting paid at the end regardless of how he performs. To be fair, he’s reliable and a steady hand but the role could have been given to anyone – he’s here solely to put his name on the front cover.

 

Carny would have made a decent The X-Files episode (in fact the Jersey Devil was featured in one episode if my memory serves me correct) but as a feature film, it’s just awful. The only reason it gets any marks is because of the ending which really goes against the genre norm. I won’t spoil it but Carny isn’t worth sitting through to find out either!

 

 ★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ 

 

 

Evil Beneath Loch Ness, The (2002)

The Evil Beneath Loch Ness (2002)

Sixty Feet of Prehistoric Terror

Researchers on Loch Ness think that they have finally found the fabled Loch Ness Monster. However, when people start to die mysteriously around the Loch, they come to realise that Nessie is the least of their problems.

 

To say that it’s one of the world’s most widely-recognised mysteries of the world, the Loch Ness Monster has been given a relatively wide berth by the horror genre. You’d think that the idea of an aquatic dinosaur living in a lake in the middle of Scotland would be the ideal material for a decent creature feature flick but cinematic depictions of Nessie had been few and few between. In fact I can only think of two genre pieces (the recent Sci-Fi flick Loch Ness Terror and an earlier one called The Loch Ness Horror) – not counting Ted Danson’s gushy family film, Loch Ness. With Nessie films being in short supply, one would at least hope that the few films about it are actually decent. Despite a cast of familiar faces, The Evil Beneath Loch Ness will do nothing to change that under-representation and if they all turned out to be this bad, then it’s one mystery that is best left unexplained.

You can’t really have a proper film about Loch Ness when the film isn’t shot there! The Evil Beneath Loch Ness was filmed at a lake in California, poorly doubling for the Scottish Highlands. As local landmarks such as Urquahart Castle are part of the legend of Nessie, then surely some effort could have been made to incorporate them into the film. A second unit seems to have taken some token shots of a Scottish loch to scatter around the film but this isn’t the real deal. The problem that the Californian location is vastly different to that of Scotland is emphasised with the different vegetation on show and the fact that it’s just way brighter and sunnier than Scotland. Where are the murky, grey skies? Where’s the fog? I know that Scotland isn’t like that all year around but it’s the sort of images we conjure up in our heads when we think of the Highlands.

Not only does the film skimp on the ‘Loch Ness’ part of the title, it also skimps on the ‘beneath’ part of the title as it doesn’t look like any of it was filmed underwater. The scenes we get from beneath the surface look like they were filmed on a soundstage with the actors moving in slow motion. Slow seems to be a recurring theme though as the film is deathly sluggish and there’s a lot of exposition and unnecessary sub-plots bubbling over. It takes way too long for the monster to get down to business and even then, the kills are few and far between. In fact the monster is hardly seen, despite the blatantly obvious twist mid-way through the film which reveals that there isn’t just the one underwater menace. The same CGI shot of the monster is re-used over and over again but from different directions to give you the illusion that what you’re seeing is new footage. It’s about all you’ll see of the monster as it’s not on screen for long, which is probably for the best as it looks ropey when you do see any of it. When it does attack people, the scenes are shot so frantically that its hard to see what is going on…..not that you’ll really care.

Patrick Bergin gets top billing but doesn’t show up until half-way through and even then he just does a feeble imitation of Quint from Jaws. He gives some half-assed back story about how the monster killed his son and then for the final hunt, he dresses up in blue war paint and a kilt like Mel Gibson did in Braveheart. But the daft thing is that he’s only going underwater in a wet suit so all of the ridiculous get-up is quickly covered over! Vernon Wells, the campy bad guy from Commando, pops up as the local Scottish constable despite the fact that he has an Australian accent. With the lack of a town mayor or any form of civic governance, Wells’ fulfils the necessary role of being the one who wants to keep the lake open to tourists to save the local economy. I was wondering where they were going to cram that old chestnut into proceedings!

Brian Wummer makes for a damp squib of a male lead and Lysette Anthony co-stars as his ex-wife/TV producer boss. Their bickering is just one of many of the unnecessary sub-plots that I mentioned earlier on. Coupled with another side story about some people trying to create a hoax monster and it’s clear that the script is full of these human plots which are designed to pad out the time and avoid anything remotely expensive….or exciting.

 

The Evil Beneath Loch Ness does the legendary monster a great disservice. Featuring weak special effects, being overly talky and with a chronic lack of action and excitement, its probably a good thing that this thing wasn’t filmed on location as everyone associated with Loch Ness can forget about this blemish and pretend it never happened.

 

 ★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ 

 

 

Loch Ness Terror (2008)

Loch Ness Terror (2008)

It’s hunt or be hunted

James Murphy is a crypto zoologist who, when he was twelve, accompanied his father on an expedition to find the Loch Ness monster. They had a fatal encounter with the creature and his father was killed. Thirty years later, his search for Nessie leads him to the town of Pike Island, on Lake Superior. He hires a local guide to take him a trip across the lake where he hopes to prove the existence of the creature, now responsible for a series of local deaths.

 

Quite why this is called Loch Ness Terror when it’s got little to do with Loch Ness and is set in a lake in North America is about a big a mystery as Nessie herself. That aside, Loch Ness Terror is yet another of the Sci-Fi Channel’s ‘monster on the loose’ films where they pretty much throw the same story into the grinder, only with a different monster of the week. Pterodactyls, sabretooth tigers, sharks, snakes and a whole lot more have been given their own features so it was obvious that one of life’s most infamous monsters is given the spotlight. Whether you believe the story about the Loch Ness monster or not doesn’t really matter here. All you need to know is that it’s a big-ass dinosaur and so the Sci-Fi Channel was obviously going to put their own spin on it.

I’ll be honest, I found this film semi-decent. Maybe it’s because I’ve seen too many snakes, sharks and everyday animals be mutated, genetically enhanced or just set loose to really give a damn anymore. But a new monster gives hope for a few new ideas. You’re not going to see any of them in here but at least there was the underlying chance that the rule book may be re-written. I think that the hope of seeing something different kept me going right until the end when I realised no one at the Sci-Fi Channel is that smart to change the formula of their previous hundred monster films. One of the big groans I have with it is the fact that the monster spends more time plodding around on land than in the water. If they were going to do that in the first place, why bother with Nessie? Why not just pick some land-based monster? The monster also looks a bit silly. It’s totally CGI but would be more at home in some kids cartoon like The Family Ness than a horror film.

Thankfully this Nessie isn’t the gentle giant that she’s been made out to be in real life – this one will bite you in half and spit out the bits she doesn’t want to eat. She will kill and eat anyone or anything in her path. So needless to say the film has plenty of moments of gore although most of them don’t fit in well with the CGI. In one scene, Nessie bites the head off her victim but the resulting CGI blood splash is so badly animated that I had to watch it again to make sure what happened.

If you’ve seen Lake Placid then you will probably be more at home here than any of the other Sci-Fi Channel pictures. The setting is the same. There are pretty similar characters. All this needed was some smart-ass like Brendan Gleason or nut like Oliver Platt squirming around. The cast do what they can with their shallow roles. Brian Krause is pretty decent in the lead role as the crypto zoologist with a burning desire to get even. I have to laugh at the end of the film as well. The poor deputy (I marked him as Nessie-bait as soon as he set off with the main characters to hunt for the monster) is savaged and killed by Nessie’s offspring. But in the final rolls, the remaining characters gather around and start cracking jokes and planning for the future, seemingly unaware that the man who just saved their lives has been brutally butchered by a plesiosaur! Show a bit of respect for crying out loud!

 

I hate to admit this but Loch Ness Terrorwas a pretty fun, entertaining ride which certainly blasted the rest of the Sci-Fi Channel’s movies out of the water. It’s got plenty of Nessie action, has a decent pace and above all didn’t suck in all of the major departments. A step in the right direction for Sci-Fi.

 

 ★★★★★☆☆☆☆☆ 

 

 

Behemoth (2011)

Behemoth (2011)

A mountain…A monster…A massacre.

An unexplained series of earthquakes threatens to activate a long dormant volcano which in turn puts a local town in grave danger. Seismologist Emily Green investigates the matter and meets local lumberjack Thomas Anderson. The two form a partnership to get to the bottom of the events and it leads them to a shocking discovery. The tremors are being caused by a huge monster which emerges every fifteen thousand years to threaten humanity.

 

First it was the drive-in. Then it was home video. Now it seems that the first point of call for anyone wanting their fill of low budget monster movies is to check out the Sci-Fi Channel. I’ve lost track of the amount of ‘Sci-Fi Originals’ that have been made over the past couple of years. They are produced by the network to fill a void in Saturday night prime time television in the States and generally budget up around the $5m mark, a mere pittance when you consider something like Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides had a budget rumoured to be $250m.

With short shooting schedules and quick turnaround, these cheapo films are easy to make and provide the channel with fresh programming whilst no doubt picking up a small sum when the films are released on DVD. With the low budgets, short shooting schedules and quick turnaround comes the inevitable issues of creativity and originality. I’d bet there is one script floating around the studios where a team of writers simply change the names of he characters, the location and the type of monster before signing it off for production. Behemoth is the latest in a LONG line of carbon copy monster flicks where the entire film can be plotted out just by reading the DVD blurb.

The Sci-Fi Channel clichés are all in abundance here: rugged and usually single father with attractive daughter in late teens/early twenties encounters some strange events in his small local town. He then meets up with attractive female scientist sent to investigate (who also happens to be single…..what are the odds?) and the two join up in order to combat whatever the monster-of-the-week before hopelessly falling in love by the end of the film after he rescues her and the daughter from imminent death at a crucial point in the film. Don’t forget the creative license that these films take with scientific theory and physics. The only difference between this and the likes of Wyvern and Carny is the choice of monster.

I really don’t see the logic in choosing Behemoth – something which is described in the film as a “singularity event” which can change the face of the planet – since the budget was never going to stretch any further than it does here and we were never going to witness full scale carnage of the Earth’s cities being smashed to pieces. For all that it’s cracked up to be the bringer of the end of the world, Behemoth doesn’t do anything. It emerges from the ground far too late in the film (it’s just before the hour mark when it finally begins to show itself) and then it’s hardly worried about destroying the planet. It seems more bothered with killing off a few puny humans (our main characters) than doing any city-smashing. Talk about an anti-climax. The entire film builds up the nature of the monster and gears us up for something amazing and the final product is just, well….meh.

This is a real pity too because, when the monster finally decides to make its cameo appearance, it looks pretty darn impressive. It’s the size of the mountain and has huge tentacles flailing all over the place as well as a massive mouth with razor teeth – think of the Kraken from the Clash of the Titans remake and you wouldn’t be too far from this. The special effects are surprisingly good and the sheer scale of the creature makes for a breath-holding couple of moments. But just as things are getting interesting, the hero decides it would be an appropriate time to launch a special weapon and kill it before it has chance to do any damage. There’s a decent script in here which cried out for a good $150m+ budget. Add another half an hour to this with the creature smashing up cities and the like before the secret weapon is used and you’d have had a great flick.

A bigger budget wouldn’t have mattered much to the cast though since it wouldn’t matter who you got in to play these characters, it would have been the same result. You can write the dialogue as you go along with these sort of films. Pseudo-scientific jargon to make everything sound plausible. Gushy romantic dialogue for the sub plot. Whiny teenagers rebelling against their parents. Crazy old men warning of the end of the world. Speaking of which, William B. Davis, the legendary Cigarette Smoking Man from The X-Files is the token old coot here, spouting off the end of the world and generally doom-mongering (until it turns out he was speaking the truth!). It’s a far cry away from his cold, calculating character he made famous but ironic since he’s the one now doing the Fox Mulder-style paranoia ranting.

 

Behemoth runs more like one of their cheap disaster films than a monster film. It is simply another cog in the machine for the Sci-Fi Channel. It’s not producing “original” films anymore, just lifeless clones each one more predictable, more tiring and more dismal than the last.

 

 ★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆