Tintorera (1977)

Tintorera (1977)

Where Hot Summer Nights Turn Into Cold Terror

Two Mexican tourists on holiday at a Mexican holiday resort love the ladies, especially the British ones whom they always flirt with. They also kill sharks in their spare time. But when a killer tiger shark takes up residence in the waters at the resort, the two decide to kill it themselves.

 

Hmm. Look at the plot. Look at the year. Jaws anyone? Tintorera is one of the more rare Jaws knock-offs around but there’s a very good reason for that – it sucks. Running more like a sleazy porn flick with a few random shark attacks, this is one of the most diabolical rip-offs I’ve had the misfortune of watching. And believe me I’ve seen so many Jaws rip-offs that it’s becoming not only a sub-genre of horror but a totally new genre unto itself.

Tintorera runs at a slow as hell pace and the shark doesn’t even turn up for about thirty minutes in. The film is fine if you want to watch two Mexican guys fight over an English woman before realising their mutual love of fine women and actually become good friends. In one of many disturbing moments, the two men like to walk around naked on their boat and they’re not shy of having sex with the same woman in the same bed. Good friends they may be but this is taking it too far because their schlongs get way more screen time than any killer tiger shark does!

It is almost like they were shooting a porn flick in Mexico, saw the success of Jaws and then threw in a few shark attacks to cash in on. The shark becomes such a pointless side story that you may even get roped into the continual sex and drinking….and when characters aren’t having sex, they’re talking about it. These characters are so sleazy that you’ll want a wash afterwards. I don’t care about their pathetic sexual relations and perverted shenanigans – I want to see a killer shark actually killing people! Is it so difficult to ask for?

Anyway I’m ranting because there’s not a great deal to talk about in all honesty. One of my major gripes with these poor Jaws rip-offs is that there isn’t actually a creature physically killing people, only various stock footage clips from The Discovery Channel of various sharks swimming around. At least some of these shark flicks have really bad model sharks so there can be a little interaction between the victims and the killer fish. In this flick, people are seemingly attacked by stock footage and then what ‘attack’ footage we have is clearly of an actual shark with a really cheap-looking dummy in its mouth (no doubt a dummy made of meat to attract the shark). The shark only kills about three people anyway so fans looking for a body count flick or gore-drenched feast have come to the wrong place. There are more shots of sharks and other marine life being killed by humans, further underlying the seedy exploitative nature of the flick.

Even the inevitable climax between hero and shark is weak and it goes down with little of a fight. In fact, some of the women that the two main characters bed put up more of a struggle than this poor shark. For some reason, there’s an unedited director’s cut out there which runs at nearly two hours. The film was bad enough at eighty-nine minutes and I felt like it had gone on for days. Pity the person who tries to endure the full unedited edition!

 

Tintorera shows what a total lack of imagination and creativity (and not to mention budget, script, actors, etc.) can offer the public. It’s devoid of anything even remotely interesting because usually these rip-offs have unintentionally bad moments. This has none at all and the rating is only for the sight of some of the pretty damn fine chicks in the film being completely stark naked.

 

 ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ 

 

 

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