Plot
A small group of outcasts and misfits
decide to join the army as an alternative to prison and wind up serving at
an experimental facility where they are to be turned into ultimate killing
machines by a crazed doctor and his stem cell research. However one of his
previous creations, a former soldier who didn't turn up the way the doctor
ordered, breaks loose and begins to cause havoc across the facility, killing
anyone who stands in his way.
Review
There's nothing remotely wrong with
calling a film UKM: The Ultimate Killing Machine if said killing
machine does actually get to kill someone. There is a big problem however
when said killing machine fails to deliver on the kill front. Unfortunately
for me, this falls into the latter category. Once again the lure of a
cool-looking cover box with a kick ass title has suckered me in. Like a
silly moth unable to resist the lure of the bug zapper on the porch door, I
am inexplicably drawn to dreck this this and still go back for seconds,
thirds and fourths, hell I'm probably on eight-hundredths now. I have earned
the right to criticise a film which has damaged more brain cells than a bump
on the head. Even more perplexing is quite why and how Michael Madsen is in
this film. But more on that later.
UKM: The Ultimate Killing Machine does have the
look and feel of a big budget release at times. The only signs of it's
constraints are sparsely furnished sets and the very limited number of
characters (this top secret facility is manned by about five guards and two
scientists) - and with a low number of characters comes the inevitable low
body count. When the super-soldier is accidentally released and goes on his
ultimate killing spree, I was expecting the screen to be filled with carnage
galore. Even the front cover is doused in a dark shade of red to make it
look like it's going to be a bloody massacre. It isn't. A head is lopped
off. A face is ripped apart. When you think of the phrase "ultimate killing
machine" you immediately get visions of a completely rabid monster tearing
everything up in it's path with as much anger and ferocity as possible. You
don't think of some big guy walking around the same few sets occasionally
popping out to say boo to someone before killing them instantly. So that was
grossly disappointing. They had the perfect set-up and spoil it by just
having him do nothing. The whole idea of giving him super-strength and a
super-sex drive was there for the writers to mine and mine some golden
nuggets from. But like a lot of things that happen in the film, they are
either good ideas with bad execution or just no execution at all. Plots and
threads are dropped at random and picked up whenever they are needed to
explain something. There's no real sense of urgency. No feeling of
excitement when anything happens. And above all, there is absolutely nothing
to be scared of. I can't recall a scene where any future scare is built up
with a bit of tension. No atmosphere is created and as a result, the film
just goes through a lot of motions.
Michael Madsen is giving top
billing and he gets plenty of screen time. The question is he still asleep
whilst he is acting or does he try? Well is the Pope Jewish? That's a stupid
question. Madsen slums as always, even struggling to get his words out at
times. The mad doctor is played by an eccentric-looking actor. His assistant
by a hot chick. The rest of the army grunts do just that and shout "maggot"
a lot. It's left to the four main characters to actually do a decent job in
their roles. They're not the usual sort of folk. The girls are pretty
unattractive and don't do the usual skanky things like dropping their tops.
The guys fall into more clichéd territory with the roles of nerd and jock
taken. But even they manage to eek some life out of their characters with
decent performances. You actually do care a little for these people and I'm
guessing that's due to the opening scenes where they explain their reasons
for joining the army. It's a bit refreshing to see but it's a shame that the
rest of the film doesn't really care.
Verdict
UKM: The Ultimate Killing Machine has such a class
name for a film that anything other than an all-out splatter fest was going
to be a disappointment. I just wasn't expecting the disappointment to be as
bad as this. It's not a complete waste of time but it might as well be.
