Vampire Bats (2005)
Director:
Eric Bross
Starring: Lucy Lawless, Dylan Neal
Run Time: 90 mins
Certificate: 15
Plot Outline: After her run-in with deadly locusts,
former government scientist Maddy Rierdon is now a professor at a small
Louisiana college. When a student is found dead with all of the blood drained
from him, the authorities are puzzled as to what could have happened. Maddy
takes an interest in the case when two of her students are pulled out of her
class by the police and accused of knowing something about it. More bodies begin
to turn up over the next few days and Maddy finds out that is in fact a form of
mutant bat that has been killing people and animals. But there's not just one of
them, there's hundreds of them and they're hungry.
The Review: Apparently this is a sequel of sorts to a
film called Locusts which, after suffering through this, I clearly have
no desire to watch. Same main characters, just different "problems." I
don't really like the idea of bringing in these characters just to create some
sort of series for fans of the original to follow. It's a cheap ploy to attract
viewers of Locusts - the sort of viewers aged 15-21 who have probably
never seen a decent horror flick before and will think any old movie with a bit
of blood and some killer critters is going to be the scariest thing ever. Anyway
enough of the evils for the time being, I didn't actually know it was a
follow-up when I sat down to watch it so let's forget about that link and focus
on this film.
Bats have never really given me
the creeps. I think they're actually kind of cute (although I wouldn't really
want to hug one or let one near me). I guess there's a lot of people out there
who don't like that whole association with the night and fear of the dark and
what lurks in it thing. Added to that the fact that they've always been labelled
as blood suckers (only three types of bat are and I'm sure they don't try and
attack 6' 5" guys) and you certainly have the potential for something to scare
the pants off someone. But when the bats in this film look as cuddly as they do,
you'd think that there was a plush toy promo going on. CGI bats fly in the
moonlight and then the actors grab really bad puppets and hold them to their
bodies to simulate attacks. They're very small so quite how one or two them
could overpower a big guy is beyond me. That's pretty much the entire gist of
it.
As for the story itself, well it's the cookie-cutter "monster on the loose"
formula. A few random deaths, usually of drunks/bums/fisherman/hunters. A few
pieces to the puzzle are found near the bodies. False accusations fly. Someone
in a position of authority doesn't want to acknowledge that there's a monster
problem because it will harm the town's festival/property development/glamorous
event. Said monster problem them comes and causes problems at said event. Then
the scientists/experts are called in to deal with the monster.. Yadda yadda ya.
It's the same film that's been revamped countless times since Jaws and
will no doubt be done to death countless times in the future too. It's a good
formula and, like the slasher film, one that doesn't leave a lot of scope for
innovation. I do like to see films try and break the mould but Vampire Bats
isn't one of them. It's sooooo predictable, it's not funny. Lucy Lawless is a
decent enough actress, unfortunately forever shackled by the Xena tag. So why is
she stooping so low to star in this?
Final Verdict: Vampire Bats feels like a cheap
watered-down horror flick that you'd put on TV during the day, such is the
weakness of the entire film to scare, shock or even bombard with blood. In the
feeble "killer bat" genre, Vampire Bats comes up reeking of guano - a
hard feat to accomplish given the quality of other genre offerings such as
Bats and Fangs.
Rating:
