Warbirds (2008)

Warbirds (2008)

The Final Battle Has Begun

In the final days of World War II, a band of WASPs (Women’s Air Service Corps) are hired to deliver a top secret weapon to an American airbase in the Pacific. During the flight, a storm forces them down onto a small island where they are confronted by a small band of Japanese soldiers who have been desperately trying to survive the onslaught of attacks by giant Pterodons, flying prehistoric monsters. Now the Americans will share the same fate unless they can get off the island in time.

 

My perverse enjoyment of watching the Sci-Fi Channel churn out feeble flick after feeble flick shows no let up but after watching, or should I say enduring, Warbirds, I feel that my time of self-sacrifice is coming to an end. OK I’ll admit that the plot is rubbish but wait a minute – giant Pterodons are in it for crying out loud! What’s not to get excited about? See this is my problem – I can’t resist the lure of monsters no matter what form they come in. And 90% of the time I end up bitterly disappointed with the end product. I knew this was going to suck but it didn’t stop me from watching. Warbirds is a shocking mess from the start to the finish. Its eighty-five minutes of grinding dialogue and cringe-worthy special effects. Having your eyes pecked out by crows would be more entertaining than sitting through this again.

No offence to the female cast but I think the main problem with this film is that the main characters are all feisty American pilots. So you know they’re not going to get battered around by the Pterodons in the same way as the males in the cast are ripped apart. They spend most of the film with their hair perfectly styled and their make-up and lipstick pretty much untouched. The lead female character spends the entire film arguing with her superiors and her underlings. How did this chick ever get into a command position with an attitude like that? She also has the really uncanny habit of saving “over” more times than anyone else in the history of military combat. It also grinds on me when her crew call her “skip” a lot in reference to skipper. It just seems so forced as if the writer was desperately trying to convince us that these women are in the armed forced. Who wrote this script?

Not content with the over-use of famous military language, the writer also serves us up some clich├ęd Japanese soldiers who are simply there to bleat about honour and sacrifice. And the few American guys hanging around the island are purely there as fodder for the Pterodons – after all we can’t start sacrificing the women too early can we? Rest assured not all of the chicks survive which is good news.

The special effects are terrible. The shots of the plane flying through the storm are poor. The Pterodons look rubbish and the dog fighting scenes with the planes fighting them in the air looks like something out of a bad computer game from the early 90s. At least the rare moments when the Pterodons attack people on the ground look respectable enough. But there are just not enough of them. When the Americans reach the island, the remains of the Japanese base makes it look like there was an all-out massacre but alas the Pterodons must have been too full because they don’t seem interested in anybody else for most of the film.

 

Warbirds is more of the same old, same old from The Sci-Fi Channel. I honestly don’t expect any better from them now and neither should you. They have good ideas but they just don’t throw enough money or talented people at them to make them worthwhile. Over.

 

 ★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ 

 

 

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