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Warbirds (2008)
Plot
In the final days of World War II, a
band of WASPs (Women's Air Service Corps) are hired to deliver a top secret
weapon to an American airbase in the Pacific. During the flight, a storm forces
them down onto a small island where they are confronted by a small band of
Japanese soldiers who have been desperately trying to survive the onslaught of
attacks by giant Pterodons, flying prehistoric monsters. Now the Americans will
share the same fate unless they can get off the island in time.
Review
My perverse enjoyment of watching the
Sci-Fi Channel churn out feeble flick after feeble flick shows no let up but
after watching, or should I say enduring, Warbirds, I feel that my time
of self-sacrifice is coming to an end. OK I'll admit that the plot is rubbish but wait
a minute - giant Pterodons are in it for crying out loud! What's not to get excited about? See this
is my problem - I can't resist the lure of monsters no matter what form they
come in. And 90% of the time I end up bitterly disappointed with the end product. I knew this was
going to suck but it didn't stop me from watching. Warbirds is a shocking
mess from the start to the finish. It's 85 minutes of grinding dialogue and
cringe-worthy special effects. Having your eyes pecked out by crows would be
more entertaining than sitting through this again.
No offence to the female cast but I think the main problem with this film is
that the main characters are all feisty American pilots. So you know they're not
going to get battered around by the Pterodons in the same way as the males in
the cast are ripped apart. They spend most of the film with their hair perfectly
styled and their make-up and lipstick pretty much untouched. The lead female
character spends the entire film arguing with her superiors and her underlings.
How did this chick ever get into a command position with an attitude like that?
She also has the really uncanny habit of saving "over" more times than anyone
else in the history of military combat. It also grinds on me when her crew call
her "skip" a lot in reference to skipper. It just seems so forced as if the
writer was desperately trying to convince us that these women are in the armed
forced. Who wrote this script? Not content with the over-use of famous military
language, the writer also serves us up some clichéd
Japanese soldiers who are simply there to bleat about honour and sacrifice. And
the few American guys hanging around the island are purely there as fodder for
the Pterodons - after all we can't start sacrificing the women too early can we?
Rest assured not all of the chicks survive which is good news.
The special effects are terrible. The shots of the plane flying through the
storm are poor. The Pterodons look rubbish and the dog fighting scenes with the
planes fighting them in the air looks like something out of a bad computer game
from the early 90s. At least the rare moments when the Pterodons attack people
on the ground look respectable enough. But there's just not enough of them. When
the Americans reach the island, the remains of the Japanese base makes it look
like there was an all-out massacre but alas the Pterodons must have been too
full because they don't seem interested in anybody else for most of the film.
Verdict
Warbirds is more of the same old, same old from The
Sci-Fi Channel. I honestly don't expect any better from them now and neither
should you. They have good ideas but they just don't throw enough money or
talented people at them to make them worthwhile. Over. |
