Zombie Undead, The (2010)

The Zombie Undead (2010)

Run. Hide. Die….

After a dirty bomb goes off in Leicester, Sarah and her injured father are rushed to a rural hospital by paramedic Steve. Upon arriving, they see how bad the situation is with dozens of injured survivors littering the corridors. Sarah faints and when she wakes up, she is apparently on her own in the hospital and confused. When she is attacked by a man and then saved by another man waving a machete around, Sarah realises that the situation is far worse than she realised. Zombies now roam the corridors

 

Highly derivative British zombie film The Zombie Undead ticks pretty much all of the generic low budget zombie apocalypse boxes to bring you a film which you’ve seen time and time again and will no doubt see time and time again in the future. This isn’t a knock on the director, the writers, actors or anyone else involved here or anywhere else but a knock on this over-saturated, ridiculously stagnant sub-genre. Zombie films need to die a death. A swift bullet to the head.

Unfortunately there’s nothing swift about The Zombie Undead, a painfully slow, unengaging trip down apocalypse road which never threatens to be anymore more than a director’s blatantly-obvious debut feature film. With ‘nods’ to the likes of 28 Days Later (see: rip-offs) and the usual Romero homages, it’s like a best-of zombie flick only without anything ‘best’ on show. Devoid of any real exposition, the film short-changes us early on with a convenient fainting to eliminate any need to explain how the zombie epidemic has come to prominence after the dirty bomb has gone off.

You know maybe if there had been some interesting characters on show then The Zombie Undead would have upped its game. But the survivors are bland, boring and wholly uninteresting and will never have you rooting for them. Writer Kris Tearse stars in the film but forgive me for forgetting his character’s name or that of any of the other characters save for Sarah (and that’s only because I wrote the synopsis before I watched it). There’s too much wandering around the hospital, too much talking and nowhere near enough stuff to make you want to care. Yeah there’s some obligatory “I did this before the apocalypse” moments to extend their dimensions from one to three but for all intents and purposes, these are a bunch of nobodies that you won’t blink twice at if they don’t make it until the end.

Excitement must have been blown up with the bomb because The Zombie Undead is sorely lacking it. The film chugs along blissfully unaware that it’s supposed to be doing something to make itself stand out from the rest and opts to kill as much time as possible with the same inane conversations. The hospital setting looks legitimate but little use is made of it as the characters seem to spend the entire time walking along the same corridors, going in and out of the same lifts and hiding in the same toilets. Scenes last for far longer than they need to and there’s a lot of filler time of people standing around looking shocked after just escaping from another zombie attack. Aside from the three main characters, there are a few other people who join the group from time to time but don’t get too attached to them. After all, we need a human body count of some kind.

This is low budget so I wasn’t expecting too much on the gore front. The zombies don’t look as bad as I thought they would even if they were pretty much the basic face paint and ketchup variety. There is a little bit of gore with some intestines and stuff flying around but you won’t get bodies being ripped apart in full view of the camera or anything crazy like that. The zombies don’t seem too bothered about eating either. Sometimes they lazily attack their victims as if they are going through the motions. In other scenes the zombies are just standing around in the middle of the corridor waiting for something to happen. Yes, well we are waiting for something to happen too. It just never materialises.

Who is naming these films too? I mean come on, The Zombie Undead? I can understand that due to the sheer amount of zombie films out there it’s almost impossible to come up with something original. But still….The Zombie Undead sounds ridiculous. What is it even supposed to mean? Zombies are the undead! And don’t think you’ll see anything as close to the images on the front cover as this flick follows the recent zombie film trend of featuring totally irrelevant (and borderline fraudulent) artwork which depicts nothing that happens in the film. If only there was half as much excitement and action in the film as there is in that cover artwork, then the world would be a better place.

 

The Zombie Undead is a film which lazily plays upon its clichés and familiarity to the audience but without the faintest clue of how it’s going to breathe new life into a sagging sub-genre that really has reached its zenith. It’s not the worst zombie film ever made but you’d be hard-pressed to remember anything about it when it’s over. Watch the two-minute trailer to save yourself the other seventy-seven!

 

 ★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ 

 

 

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