Chopping Mall (1986)

"Where shopping costs you an arm and a leg!"

Plot

Two teenagers who work for a furniture store at the local mall decide to sneak their friends in after hours for a massive party. Unfortunately for them, it just happens to be the night a new security system is implemented in the mall with the introduction of three robot security guards. A couple of bolts of electricity short-circuit the computer system and the robots go crazy, killing their human technicians and anyone else who is in the mall after hours.

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I'd be hard pressed to think of a better example of an 80s horror film than Chopping Mall. With it's gory front cover, a classic tag line and featuring the requisite amount of dumb, appallingly acted teenagers who drink, have sex and then are hacked to pieces with one of the most ridiculous plots conceived, it's the ultimate in nostalgic cheese - a timecapsule from an era where quality came second to having a lot of daft fun on screen. Think a weird cross between Short Circuit and Friday the 13th and you'll be right at home with Chopping Mall, a slasher in all but the presence of a knife-wielding maniac (and the malfunctioning robots more than make up for that). This isn't high art; this is guilty pleasure central.

Director Jim Wynorksi has made countless low budget horror flicks over his career and this has to rank up with his best work which, sadly enough, is not exactly something to write home about. At a slender seventy-six minutes long, he makes the most of the time he has to keep Chopping Mall moving quickly and there are no dull spells or drawn out scenes. He keeps things ticking away nicely from as soon as the robots go crazy right until the end credits. This was made in the 80s after all so, predictably, you'll be able to spot which character is going to die and in what order. The characters are those from the book of slasher lore: slutty females designed to bare their breasts, nerds designed to explain everything in geek speak, jocks are there to act all Alpha Male and virginal females are there to survive. I'd be hard pressed to name any of the main actors involved in this outside of Re-Animator's Barbara Crampton and it’s safe to say that they're simply filling the roles of stereotype to perfection, not being able to emote when one of their friends has been incinerated or fumbling around making out as if they've never done it before.

Thankfully, there's a group of eight teenagers in the mall plus various janitors and technicians so there's a large field of targets for the robots to kill and the body count ends up high. The front cover does promise gore and is very misleading but there's little to be hard here. Apart from an awesome head explosion which must have engulfed the majority of the make-up effects budget, the deaths are not bloody. Sadly enough despite the film being called Chopping Mall, no one actually gets chopped up. There is little attempt to draw out any tension or suspense as the killbots aren't exactly quiet or subtle with how they take down intruders. The setting is used to great effect though and takes a page out of the Dawn of the Dead book by getting some great footage of the different locations in the mall that they shot the film inside. It certainly gives Chopping Mall the feel of something much bigger, even if all of the action and carnage on screen brings you back down to reality.

This is because the stars of the show, the killbots, aren't exactly threatening. The robots look like rejects from Short Circuit with bits of the old school Cylons from Battlestar Galactica and Robocop thrown in for good measure. Come to think of it, you could imagine 'Johnny 5' going on a killing spree if there was ever an X-rated version. Being low budget and this being the 80s when futuristic objects looked ridiculously over-the-top, these robots aren't able to do an awful lot. You won't see them moving up and down the escalators. They've got little manoeuvrability and their arms are somewhat cumbersome. Their laser weapons look like they wouldn't hurt a fly and they couldn't hit a barn door with them, giving their targets ample opportunity to dive for cover. The sound effects have been swiped from War of the Worlds and the visual effects for the laser beams look like a cheap 80s computer game gone wrong. Not only that but they're called 'killbots' for crying out loud! What did their creators think was going to happen? The robots would make tea for everyone or start doing the cleaning? Hell no - they're going to turn into psychotic killing machines, patrolling the corridors of the mall looking for the next kill.

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Final Verdict

Chopping Mall ticks all the boxes as far as 80s horrors go. Hugely entertaining from start to finish and with a distinctive story to set it apart from other teen fodder flicks, it never outstays it's welcome. Don't take it seriously, sit back and enjoy one of the flawed hidden gems of 80s low budget film making!

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Chopping Mall Also Known As: Killbots Director(s): Jim Wynorski Writer(s): Jim Wynorski (written by), Steve Mitchell (written by) Actor(s): Karrie Emerson, Julie Corman, Kelli Maroney, Toni Naples, Tony O'Dell, Barbara Crampton, Suzee Slater, Russell Todd Duration: 84 mins