Killdozer (1974)
"Everyone knows that a machine cannot kill. Except the machine."
Plot
A mysterious alien force takes control of a massive bulldozer and proceeds to kill off the crew of a remote construction site on a small island off the coast of Africa.
That’s about all the plot you’re going to get from a hokey film with a title like Killdozer. Made-for-TV in 1974 as part of ABC's Movie of the Week series, it shares many similarities with Steven Spielberg's classic 1971 debut Duel. However, in the UK this is virtually forgotten about – never released on DVD to date in the UK, never shown on television as far as I can recall and what few copies there were on VHS have been well worn over the years. Sometimes there are reasons for such obscurity and it was to my detriment that I found out what those reasons were. I managed to watch Killdozer via a dodgy Youtube upload which has since been pulled so those wanting to check it out will be disappointed.
Despite the title, which is one of those great "it's going to do exactly what it says" titles like Attack of the Killer Tomatoes or Sharknado, Killdozer is never anywhere near as violent or deadly as it would infer. Rather the opposite - sluggishly boring and never once living up to any sort of throwaway potential the novelty value of a killer bulldozer may have had. At a slender seventy-four minutes, the material that is presented barely manages to extend that far and will have you reaching for the fast forward button before the first quarter is over. It’s just dull. There’s only so many adjectives I could use to describe it so the simplest one will do. It’s dull. Slow. Not a lot happens. No excitement. Dull.
For a start, the idea to locate this monstrous machine in the middle of nowhere with only a handful of construction workers to kill off amidst a few tents is daft as it takes away half of the fun of a bulldozer going on a rampage. Where are the buildings being smashed down? The cars and buses being taken out? A city or even small town location would have been the perfect place to unleash the bulldozer but keeping it confined to a small island without roads and any real buildings is a big cop out - check out Maximum Overdrive for a simple location used to its fullest extent. I understand the budget not stretching that far but the idea was more less dead-on-arrival and the location doesn’t help matters one bit. It’s bland, pretty lifeless and looks to have been shot entirely in a quarry somewhere.
Forgive me if I’m wrong but aren’t bulldozers supposed to be really noisy, chugging lumps of metal which you could hear driving up on you? Not the Killdozer! This is a stealth vehicle, capable of smashing its way out of trees and bushes to spring out on unsuspecting victims at a moment’s notice. It’s not like it needs much prompting either with the few characters in the film displaying a sense of stupidity that wouldn’t even wash in the 80s teen slasher films. Who thinks it is a good idea to hide from a twenty-tonne bulldozer inside the metal pipe it has just seen you crawl into? Despite the best efforts of everyone involved, the bulldozer never once manages to convince viewers that it is actually alive and not just someone driving it off-camera - Killdozer falls flat as a result. There’s hardly any tension or excitement due to its slowness and you could easily outrun it if you put your mind to it. Even the prospect of a bulldozer versus digger showdown can’t liven things up.
The guys that sparsely populate this film consist of a few stock characters including the recovering alcoholic asshole foreman, the token black guy, the nervous one who breaks down and the popular guy. That’s pushing it for individual features as they’re so non-descript that it’s impossible to tell them apart at times. They do a lot of standing around talking and never really seem to ‘get’ the situation that they are faced with especially given their aforementioned stupidity - there's a big cliff behind them which would be impossible for the bulldozer to drive up yet no one thinks about scaling it for safety. When the bulldozer is the smartest thing on show, you’ve got issues with your script. Clint Walker is an amiable lead but the big hulk of a man (6ft 6in so slightly taller than me, though definitely 'bigger') doesn't have much to do.
Final Verdict
Killdozer is dreadful fare which should have been left to rust on the seventies scrap heap. It’s hard trying to find positives to say about it. Even its short running time drags out for an eternity. It feels like a totally wasted opportunity for a bit of silly fun and would be ripe for a bigger budgeted retelling.
 |
Killdozer Director(s): Jerry London Writer(s): Theodore Sturgeon (teleplay), Ed MacKillop (teleplay), Herbert F. Solow (adaptation) Actor(s): Clint Walker, Robert Ulrich, Carl Betz, Neville Brand, James Wainright Duration: 74 mins |  |
|---|