Monsterwolf (2010)
- Andrew Smith
- 2 hours ago
- 5 min read
"The Night Has Fangs..."
Plot
A greedy oil company expanding their operations in Louisiana come across a mysterious ancient archway construction in the middle of a new dig. Continuing their drilling, they set loose a supernatural wolf of Native American legend which proceeds to terrorise the town in a bid to stop the company from taking further action.
Review
Seems like it's been a while since I reviewed an out-and-out Sy Fy Original but here we are with Monsterwolf, a cliché-fuelled trip down memory lane. By memory lane, I mean virtually every other Sy Fy Original or other horrors with avenging Native American spirits in them. Monsterwolf doesn't differentiate itself in the slightest, running like clockwork from beginning to end. Let’s see: Native American burial ground - check. Something being built on/done to the land - check. Something spiritual and nasty is unleashed to take vengeance - check. Stock characters from the community to throw into the jaws of the monster every ten minutes or so - check. Lazy stereotyping of Native American culture and folklore – check. Naff CGI monster – check. Monsterwolf is the sort of film you can slap on in the background whilst you do something else, go back to it every few minutes and still know exactly what is happening.
Watching a film like this feels exactly like eating at a fast-food restaurant. You walk in, you know exactly what a number four combo tastes like because you order it every week and you definitely know it is never going be a gourmet meal. It’s never going to surprise you or do anything different to the other twenty times you’ve ordered it, but you order it anyway. I just don't get it. If a film is just meh, why is the network still in business? Who is actively choosing to watch the definition of a below average film every Friday night? (outside of someone like me who watches and reviews them for a hobby). Monsterwolf isn’t the worst of Sy Fy’s output over the years, not by a long shot. But it’s got no redeeming qualities, nothing that makes it stand out and nothing that gets your blood pumping or your spine tingling. It is by-the-book filmmaking in which everyone involved ticks a couple of boxes and then moved on to making the next one. I’m at a loss to comment on the film because only a day after watching, I’ve already forgotten most of what happened. Yadda yadda ya wolf gets released, yadda yadda ya people talk, yadda yadda ya wolf attacks someone. I don’t want to watch it again to have to pick out highlights. Even the setting famed for its beautiful bayous, Louisiana, looks rather dull and unremarkable here. The production values don’t convey any real sense of place, when you’d be expecting a very specific rich atmosphere. Spanish moss, dark water, and a real sense of heavy humidity and history. But this place looks just like any other Sy Fy flick (particularly those filmed in Eastern Europe). I’m not sure whether it’s the type of cameras or the lenses they are use but the films all look the same.
Leonor Varela (Blade II) stars as the smoking hot lawyer drafted in by the oil company to sway the townspeople into selling. Guess what – she is a former resident who has history with certain male characters from the town to add in extra layers of back story and tragedy to proceedings! Well that’s the idea but it all ends up mechanically going through the usual forced romantic sub-plot motions with people falling back in love with each other after initial resistance to rekindling their love – the classic trauma bonding. After all, people facing vengeful Native American creatures are instantly drawn to like each other in the face of certain death. Its extra plot padding that doesn’t need to be present because it adds nothing to the film outside of some artificial stake-raising. The execution lacks the nuance required to make that psychological reality feel genuine, which is why it feels so flat and unearned to the viewer. Couple that with a tacked on fake-out ending which pulls the rug from under you just when you think the script has the audacity to do something different, and Monsterwolf is never going to connect to an audience in any reasonable way.
Robert Picardo, he of Star Trek: Voyager fame and numerous low-budget efforts like this, stars as the slimy oil executive. Picardo has a permanent frown upon his face as if he's just messed his pants and doesn't want anyone to know, living up to the one-dimensional caricature that he portrays here. He’s an ultra douchebag, or at least as threatening as Picardo can be. Having watched him for years as the holographic doctor, it’s impossible to take him as a despicable villain. Serial Sy Fy offender Griff Furst doesn't helm this one, but he stars in it instead. The man behind 100 Million B.C., Swamp Shark, Lake Placid 3, Ghost Shark and Arachnoquake (see a pattern emerging) lends himself to the comic relief role. I’m not sure whether he should stick behind of or in front of the camera – maybe do us all a favour and try both for a bit.
I don't comment enough on scores and incidental music, but I feel the need to do so here. It's almost as if there is a soundtrack playing in the background to every scene, pumping some ominous music continually through my speakers. It reminds me of a sitcom laugh track. When a joke isn't actually funny, the producers pump in the canned laughter to loudly dictate, "Hey, this is the part where you're supposed to be laughing." Monsterwolf is doing the exact same thing with fear. The constant ominous music is loudly telling you to feel scared because the script forgot to earn the emotion through actual suspense. I get that the script isn’t doing a great job at creating tension or fear and they need something cheap to substitute for it but sometimes silence is the best way to go about it. I don’t need to have some creepy tunes running through my head when a character is exploring a dark house, I’d rather it be deadly quiet so that the only thing I can hear is my heartbeat.
And it’s funny but I haven’t mentioned the star of the show yet, the monster wolf of the title. There’s a mixture of some practical make-up effects for close-up shots, but it’s counteracted by the dubious CGI, particularly in a scene when the wolf attacks a helicopter. Much better are the frenzied attacks where director Todor Chapkonov opts to keep the lighting dark and the editing rapid to avoid revealing too much. The wolf looks goofy when you do see it but it’s definitely more competently created than it’s Sy Fy brethren.
Final Verdict
Monsterwolf isn’t one step forward or one step back for Sy Fy films, it’s just standing still. Swap out the wolf for a crocodile or snake, swap the oil company for a real estate company or gangster and role reverse the hero and heroine and you’ll have exactly the same throwaway film as Sy Fy has been pumping out for years. Nothing new to see here at all.
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Monsterwolf Director(s): Todor Chapkanov Writer(s): Charles Bolon Actor(s): Jason London, Robert Picardo, Leonor Varela, Nicole Barré, Amber Bartlett, Jon Eyez, Mark Hanson, Lo Graham Duration: 90 mins |  |
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